SIBLING ABUSE

    Sibling abuse is one of the most common forms of family violence.  While boys are more likely than girls to engage in sibling abuse, both participate in forms of family violence.  The abuse crosses all races and cultures.  Sibling abuse is any form of physical, emotional, or sexual abuse inflicted by one child in a family unit on another.  Many people think sibling abuse is part of growing up.  The article, "Sibling Rivalry or Sibling Abuse?" (2002), stated that as many as 53 out of every 100 children abuse a brother or sister, which is higher than the percentage of adults who abuse their children or spouse.  What some kids do to their brother or sister inside the family would be called assault outside the family.  Though sibling abuse has been studied for over thirty years, an absence of information regarding its characteristics remains: What are some causes of sibling abuse?  What are the signs and consequences for sibling abuse, and what can we do to prevent it from happening again.

            Sibling stress results from factors such as family conflict, sibling rivalry and jealously. Patterns can be a cause in sibling abuse. Parents who were emotionally or physically absent, or abused by one another or children, set the stage for sibling abuse. Some children abuse to gain power and control. Most children often abuse a brother or sister to make the abusive child feel powerless, neglected and insecure. Often, sibling hassles heat up when there’s a family conflict. Perlmutter, a certified Social Worker in Mineola, NY, explains the importance of sibling rivalry:

            “When you have something that creates tension and conflict, whether it’s stress in your parent’s marriage, parent/child abuse, alcoholic parent, and isn’t dealt with, one child may start taking the frustration he or she feels toward their parents out on a weaker or younger sibling.” (Oh, brother (and sister!) when sibling stress strikes. 1994, p40) Parents should stay on top of the game look for signs of frustration in their kids. Don’t just let the signs past you by, as if your child is going through a phase take charge when you notice a change in them, don’t wait till it’s to late and it escalades into a bigger problem.

    LITERATURE REVIEW       

    One sign of sibling abuse is physical abuse, which ranges from hitting , bitting, and slapping to more life-threatening acts such as choking or shooting with a BB gun. Another sign is emotional abuse, teasing name calling, belittling, ridiculing, intimidating, annoying, and provoking. Lastly, sexual abuse is unwanted touching, indecent exposure, intercourse, rape or sodomy between siblings. Moving Forward Newsjournal, 1,4

            A consequence survivors have dealt with within sibling abuse is the inability to establish and maintain friendships and intimate relationships. The ability to trust is shattered when a young child is betrayed sexually, physically, or emotionally by someone close to him or someone whose responsibility is to care for him. “Numerous studies have indicated that survivors whose perpetrators have ranged from close family members to strangers generally report that they have suffered from one or more of the following: guilt, shame, substance abuse, revictimization, diminished self-esteem, depression, difficulty maintaining relationships, and/or dissociative abuse. Sibling Sexual Abuse: An Emerging Awareness of Ignored Trauma p40)

            Removal from the home is one way to prevent sibling abuse. If it isn’t safe to keep the child in the home, the child should be placed with a relative or in foster care, until the sibling or parent has sought counseling, or has been rehabilitated. If there are other children living in the home you may have to remove them from the home, because they may have to remove them from the home, because they may be in danger of physical abuse, emotional and sexual abuse as well as the other children. (Teen Magazine, April 1994 v38,p40(3).The biggest problem with in removing the siblings from the home is if they split up into two different homes, that may take a bigger toll on the children than the abuse. Removal of a sibling from the home should protect the children further abuse. In some cases, the abuse is so serious that the courts will consider another more forceful form of intervention like terminating the parental rights of the abusing parent. In serious cases like sexual abuse, I feel the child should be taken from the home, because if the abuse is 17 years old and the victim is 8, I feel the 17 year old knows right from wrong and has a better understanding than the 8 year old, and if kept in the home the abuse may become worse.

            Another factor in sibling is abuse is, when another sibling feels there parent loves another sibling more than they love them. An article on, Gender bias in families and its clinical implications for women, Jan 2001. vol.46, p23,14. The article provides some helpful information, on how women feel. The article talks about how 45 women with brothers explores family-based gender bias and elucidates its role in the lives of women. Some of the women perceived that she was less valued by her parents than a brother; abuse without redress-the woman reports that she was abused by a brother and perceived herself as unable to get redress to her parents, and deprivation-the woman perceives herself to have been deprieved of resources or privileges that a brother had. A clinical study was done on inequality: on parental bias that puts daughter at a disadvantage. Research and clinical theory affirm the existence of parental attitudes and behavior that discriminate against girls. I feel parents should stop being bias, when it comes to their daughters, because I feel some girls can take better care of themselves than a boy can. Parents set their daughter up for failure, because they are too over protective of them, if they put trust in the girls and let them venture for themselves they can get a chance to recognize that the girls are stronger than they think. I know from experience, how it feels to be told you can’t do something, for instance when my brother was 13 he could walk to the store by himself, and when I turned his age I couldn’t I felt that she was showing favoritism to him and didn’t care about me, I thought she cared more about him than me because he could do more than me but that wasn’t the point. It wasn’t that she loved him more than me, she said, she just felt that he could take care of himself better than me. After years past by I grew to know that was all it was.

            An article on, Animal Abuse as an object of study,Feb. 1999 vol.37 p. 117,30) talks about how animal abuse and human abuse may come together. It also talks about how criminologist rather investigate harms committed by human offenders against human victims rather than those committed by humans against other species. The article talks about, when a child is younger and growing up to be an adult you should take notice of how they treat animals. It’s basically saying if you abuse animals your liable to become a murderer or a “Menace to Society”. I don’t think that’s true in all instances, because my grandmother use to have a lot of cats and they would be piled around the back door step, and I would kick them off the porch just to being doing something, it was just something to do to me and it was fun. I was young back then, just because a child does something like that doesn’t mean there a threat to society. I feel some people are just mental, it doesn’t matter rather they were cruel to animals when they were younger, they just committed the crime because they wanted.

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Last updated: 12/01/03